Ontario Blues
Ryan

Intro:
Oh, Warren's comin' up north, you know?
Gotta show him the best of Ontario
But damn, I didn't know... what a shit show

Verse 1:
Warren rolls into town, eyes full of wonder
Here to see the sights, oh boy, did I blunder
Took him down the street, showed him Tim Hortons
He just laughed and said, 'Is this your pride m'lort?' and

I was hopin' to impress, but it's just a mess
Fuck, I live in this snow-covered chess
Went to the CN Tower, he wasn't thrilled
'Seriously bro, that's it? Try harder, if you will'

Chorus:
Ain't no city like Ontario
Thought I'd shine, but man, what do I know?
I tried to make it pro, but here's the con
When Warren visits, what could go wrong?
A lot, it seems, yeah, a lot, it seems

Verse 2:
Took him to Niagara Falls, big-ass water spout
He just shrugged and said, 'What's the fuss about?'
Oh shit, I thought I'd really nailed it
But now he's bored, and I’ve failed it

Cruisin' through Moose Factory, ain't that quaint?
'Seriously, dude, I can't even... this place ain't'
Goddamn, what was I thinking?
Should've booked a flight instead of this sinking

Chorus:
Ain't no city like Ontario
Thought I'd shine, but man, what do I know?
I tried to make it pro, but here's the con
When Warren visits, what could go wrong?
A lot, it seems, yeah, a lot, it seems

Bridge:
Warren's lookin' at me, he's feelin' misled
'Ryan, man, this ain't what you said'
I’m losin' face, can't save this grace
Next time, I need a backup place

We end up drinkin' at some shitty dive
Laughin' it off, but inside, I died
Ryan, Ryan, you tried and you lied
Maybe next time just stay at your side

Chorus:
Ain't no city like Ontario
Thought I'd shine, but man, what do I know?
I tried to make it pro, but here's the con
When Warren visits, what could go wrong?
A lot, it seems, yeah, a lot, it seems

Outro:
So here's to Ontario, what a freaking joy
Next time, Warren, we’ll hang in Illinois
Fuck this ice, this snow, this bitter cold
Ontario, you embarrass, you never grow old