A poignant song about the complexities of falling for a friend while sharing intimate moments. Set against the backdrop of watching the classic film 'Vertigo', the lyrics explore feelings of vulnerability and attraction, as well as the anxiety of heightening emotions. The narrator reflects on their unease with both physical heights and the escalating tension in their friendship.
Verse 1:
Sitting here, watching the screen glow,
With you by my side, but it's hard to let go.
Your hand is close, trembling like the film,
Can you feel the weight of this moment, still?
Chorus:
I'm not mad, I'm not mad, I don't wanna die,
But your hand's on my knee, and I don't know why.
You tower over me, a gentle surprise,
I'm afraid of heights, but here we rise.
Verse 2:
You laugh at the jokes, I'm lost in your eyes,
This movie's just a cover, our secret disguise.
Do you know what you’re doing, can’t you see?
You’re a step above, and I'm clinging to me.
Chorus:
I'm not mad, I'm not mad, I don't wanna die,
But your hand's on my knee, and time's passing by.
Are you aware, are you feeling the same?
In the shadows of vertigo, we're playing this game.
Bridge:
Caught in this moment, my heart's on the line,
What if I told you, I wish you were mine?
But heights make me dizzy, I’m scared to fall,
With every touch, we’re risking it all.
Chorus:
I'm not mad, I'm not mad, I don't wanna die,
But your hand's on my knee, and I can’t deny.
I'm afraid to say it, afraid of the fall,
So I cling to our laughter, I hold onto it all.
Outro:
In the glow of the screen, in this fragile space,
I wonder if you feel it, this unspoken grace.
As we watch vertigo, my heart starts to race,
With your hand so close, I find my safe place.
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it's about falling for a friend, we're watching vertigo, and their hand is dangerously close to my knee. I wonder if they are aware of what they do to me, i wonder if they know that I'm afraid of heights. and they are twice taller than me. "I'm not mat I'm not mad I don't wanna die"
phoebe bridgers