An Apple a Day (WON’T Keep the Doctor Away)
Martha Stewart

(Intro Verse)
I woke up this morning, oh what a fright,
Got a bill from the doctor, he’s money-hungry, alright!
He thinks I’m gonna just lay down and pay,
But I’ve got a little saying—"An apple a day!"

(Chorus 1)
An apple a day, it won’t keep him away,
I’ll sue him for damages, what do you say?
I’m the queen of the courtroom, it’s a riotous play,
With a wink and a smile, I’m here to parlay!

(Verse 1)
I broke a contract once, thought it was a joke,
When they tried to fight back, I just laughed and I spoke.
Said, "Honey, you don’t know the power I hold,
I could bake you right out of your profit margin, behold!"

(Chorus 2)
An apple a day, it won’t keep him away,
I’ll sue for defamation—watch my portfolio sway!
I’m a master of bending, watch the games that I play,
When I’m in the kitchen, it’s a legal buffet!

(Bridge)
So bake up your dreams, don’t let anyone frown,
With a spatula justice, I’ll take back my crown!
Got a recipe for chaos—whip it good, make it loud,
You’ll find Martha's here! Yell it proud!

(Verse 2)
Remember that staff who dared to complain?
I told them to simmer like a pot brimming with grain.
"You want a hair in your soup? Well, honey, get real,
You’re lucky I don’t serve you a lawsuit meal!"

(Instrumental Break)

(Verse 3)
Now moving on swiftly, let’s clear out the debt,
Life’s too short to sweat over petty regrets.
So I’ll grab my briefcase, gather up my clay,
With a sprinkle of sass, I’ll conquer the fray!

(Chorus 3)
An apple a day, it won’t keep him away,
But I’ll tangle you up in a contract ballet!
Every misstep you make, I'll be waiting to slay,
With Martha in charge, there’s no other ballet!

(Coda)
So here’s to the movers, the shakers, and fun,
With an apple in hand, we’ve only begun!
Let the critics all scoff, let the haters all bray,
I’ll take charge of my life in my own Martha way!