A hauntingly hilarious ballad from the musical DRACULA, 'I Burned My Mouth on Pizza' portrays the infamous vampire's disastrous experience at Applebee's. With a mix of humor and horror, Dracula recounts his love-hate relationship with pizza, turned tragic through molten cheese and fire-hot sauce. Join Dracula as he laments his culinary misstep with a brooding intensity set to a catchy melody. Perfect for fans of dark comedy and Broadway parody, this song is a reminder that not even immortals are immune to terrible pizza experiences.
Verse 1:
In Applebee's where shadows creep,
I listened to the waiter’s scheme,
He said, "Try pizza, it’s a slice of heaven,"
But little did I know what it would mean.
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
That first bite was a fiery defeat,
Goddamn the pepperoni,
My tongue felt like it faced a beast.
Verse 2:
Oh, it looked so divine, a cheesy delight,
Glistening crust that called my name,
But I was naive, lost in the fight,
With molten cheese, it brought me shame.
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
The sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat,
I said hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit,
This crusty creation goes to extreme note.
Bridge:
I've feasted on blood, bones, and despair,
Flesh of my victims, tasted their fear,
But this pizza disaster, beyond compare,
I never imagined that I’d shed a tear.
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
My fangs have tasted many things,
But this horror, it still haunts my bite,
Oh, Italian cuisine, what pain it brings!
Coda:
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?
This lesson learned, I’ll never again dare,
To visit a pizzeria, I swear I won't care.
Chords not available
Beat not available
Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a minor key pop ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time, recounting this horrible tale. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and “I said hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit” and “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and “molten cheese” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?" Come up with different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1 (about ordering at Applebee’s as waiter suggested), chorus 1 (about the first bite and pain), verse 2 (about how wonderful and tempting the pizza still looked), chorus 2 (how the pizza hadn’t cooled down and burned again), bridge (about all the things he has eaten), chorus 3 (about how his mouth and tongue are still burned), coda (about the lesson learned never eating it again). Dracula sings with ancient accent and doesn’t know modern English. The last lines should be on how the experience changed him. The rhyme scheme for the verse should be ABAB. The rhyme scheme for the chorus should be AABB.
Mel Brooks