Experience the haunting yet hilarious tale of Dracula's disastrous encounter with pizza in 'I Burned My Mouth on Pizza.' This minor key pop ballad captures the essence of a vampire's culinary misadventure at Applebee's, wrapped in a parody power ballad format, complete with raw, unfiltered emotions and comedic vulgarity. With striking imagery and catchy lines, this song will resonate with anyone who has faced a fiery culinary disaster!
Verse 1:
At Applebee's, I took my seat,
The waiter smiled, said, 'You must try this treat!'
'What’s this strange dish that you beseech?'
He said, 'This pizza, you must not breach!'
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Damn it all, this hellish beat ya!
Took a bite, felt the fiery pain,
Goddamn the pepperoni, I can’t explain!
Verse 2:
Yet the pizza looked, oh, so divine,
A cheesy marvel, I thought, 'It's mine!'
Golden crust, temptation's true design,
But alas, its warmth was never benign!
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
This molten cheese is what defeats ya!
Tried again, but the heat’s not gone,
The sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat, John!
Bridge:
I’ve dined on blood, sweet wine, and cake,
Feasted on souls, for centuries I partake,
But this wretched dish, what a stupid mistake,
I can’t believe a simple slice could make me break!
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
This torture does not cease, it greets ya!
My tongue is scorched, and now it’s clear,
After living for hundreds of years, this slice brings me to tears!
Coda:
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?
This lesson learned, I’ll heed without fail,
No more pizza for me, I’ll stick to my pale!
Chords not available
Beat not available
Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a minor key pop ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time, recounting this horrible tale. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and “I said hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit” and “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and “molten cheese” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?" Come up with different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1 (about ordering at Applebee’s as waiter suggested), chorus 1 (about the first bite and pain), verse 2 (about how wonderful and tempting the pizza still looked), chorus 2 (how the pizza hadn’t cooled down and burned again), bridge (about all the things he has eaten), chorus 3 (about how his mouth and tongue are still burned), coda (about the lesson learned never eating it again). Dracula sings with ancient accent and doesn’t know modern English. The last lines should be on how the experience changed him. The rhyme scheme for the verse should be ABAB. The rhyme scheme for the chorus should be AABB.
JJ Novembrini