A hauntingly humorous ballad from the musical DRACULA, 'I Burned My Mouth on Pizza' features Dracula recounting his tragic—and spicy—experience with his first pizza at Applebee's. This parody power ballad showcases Dracula's amusing struggles with modern cuisine, leaving the audience both laughing and empathizing with his culinary misfortune.
Verse 1:
In Applebee’s dim light, I made my plea,
An ancient thirst for flavor, oh, let it be!
The waiter grinned and said, 'You must try this feast-a,'
So I waved my hand, 'Bring forth the cheesy beats ya.'
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Hotter than the flames of hell, it defeats ya!
That first bite scorched my tongue, I could not believe,
Goddamn the pepperoni, how I grieve!
Verse 2:
The sight of it glistened, with toppings galore,
A vision so tempting, I longed for more.
But still in naïveté, I thought, 'This can’t harm,'
Yet it betrayed my trust, with a devilish charm.
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Each slice was a furnace, it would heat ya!
The molten cheese, a lava of doom,
I said hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit, whom!
Bridge:
I've dined on flesh and blood, I’ve sipped the finest wine,
But nothing prepared me for this twisted design.
I've eaten all the exotic, from bats to the rarest beast,
Yet this simple pie at Applebee’s was a most ill-begotten feast.
Chorus 3:
Ooh, my mouth and tongue are still burned, I moan!
These tortured lips, in misery, bemoan!
I swore this was a path I’d never explore,
For a pizza of hell leaves me wanting no more!
Coda:
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?
So I vow from this moment, no pizza will cross my lips,
For the taste of its torment is where a vampire dips.
Chords not available
Beat not available
Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a minor key pop ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time, recounting this horrible tale. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and “I said hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit” and “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and “molten cheese” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?" Come up with different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1 (about ordering at Applebee’s as waiter suggested), chorus 1 (about the first bite and pain), verse 2 (about how wonderful and tempting the pizza still looked), chorus 2 (how the pizza hadn’t cooled down and burned again), bridge (about all the things he has eaten), chorus 3 (about how his mouth and tongue are still burned), coda (about the lesson learned never eating it again). Dracula sings with ancient accent and doesn’t know modern English. The last lines should be on how the experience changed him. The rhyme scheme for the verse should be ABAB. The rhyme scheme for the chorus should be AABB.
Drake