A comedic and dramatic power ballad from the musical DRACULA, 'I Burned My Mouth on Pizza' captures the misadventures of the legendary vampire as he experiences the fiery pain of his first encounter with pizza at Applebee's. Filled with humor and a touch of horror, this minor key pop ballad sees Dracula recounting his unfortunate tale with vivid imagery and plenty of vulgar phrases, making it a memorable and entertaining piece.
(Verse 1)
In Applebee’s, I made my choice,
The waiter grinned, said, 'You’ve found your voice.'
I said, 'What’s this? A plate that beats ya,
Oh, bring me this glorious pizza!'
(Chorus 1)
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Goddamn the pepperoni, it couldn’t be sweeter!
I thought I'd munch, thought it would please ya,
But hell, oh hell, it did defeat ya!
(Verse 2)
The cheese, it gleamed like gold in the dark,
Hot molten treasure, it left a mark.
But when I took a bite, oh the pain was sheer,
I was beguiled by the feast, now trapped by my fear.
(Chorus 2)
Ooh, I burned my mouth again on pizza!
How could this create such a screaming pita?
I said hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit,
But the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat, it bit!
(Bridge)
I've dined on blood, I’ve savored the flesh,
What’s one little slice? I thought I’d enmesh!
From roasted swine to entrails delight,
But this cursed dish brings sorrow to my night.
(Chorus 3)
Ooh, my mouth and tongue are still burned and sore,
With memories of pizza I shall abhor.
Ancient curses, forgotten my skin,
Through years of living, I thought I would win!
(Coda)
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?
A lesson learned, I’ll heed what I say,
No more pizza for me, I’ll stay bloody away!
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Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a minor key pop ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time, recounting this horrible tale. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and “I said hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit” and “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and “molten cheese” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?" Come up with different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1 (about ordering at Applebee’s as waiter suggested), chorus 1 (about the first bite and pain), verse 2 (about how wonderful and tempting the pizza still looked), chorus 2 (how the pizza hadn’t cooled down and burned again), bridge (about all the things he has eaten), chorus 3 (about how his mouth and tongue are still burned), coda (about the lesson learned never eating it again). Dracula sings with ancient accent and doesn’t know modern English. The last lines should be on how the experience changed him. The rhyme scheme for the verse should be ABAB. The rhyme scheme for the chorus should be AABB.
Barbra Streisand