In this humorous yet heartfelt power ballad, Dracula recounts the disastrous experience of trying pizza for the first time at Applebee's. With his ancient charm and modern-day frustrations, he sings about the fiery aftermath of his culinary adventure, all while delivering vulgar phrases and comic relief. This minor key pop ballad highlights the absurdity of his pain and the lessons learned through unlikely food experiences.
Verse 1:
In the tavern of Applebee's, where the bright lights twinkle,
The waiter approached me, 'Sir, give the pizza a sprinkle.'
I pondered in shadows, 'Could this dish be a treat?'
He grinned with delight, 'A slice that can’t be beat!'
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
A fiery chunk that sure defeats ya!
Goddamn the pepperoni, so cruel and so tight,
Molten cheese in my throat, what a godforsaken plight!
Verse 2:
Oh, that pizza looked tempting, all cheesy and gold,
But little did I know, the horrors it would unfold!
A vision of beauty, a slice from the gods,
How could something so pleasing be wrapped in such frauds?
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Again and again, it’s the beast that eats ya!
I said hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit,
The sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat it hit!
Bridge:
In centuries past, I’ve feasted on divine fare,
From blood of the living to delicacies rare.
But nothing prepared me for this horrid fate,
A pizza that transformed my love into hate!
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Memories now haunt, like a restless ecreeta!
My mouth and my tongue, like embers still glow,
In a world filled with wonders, this pain I will forego.
Coda:
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?
I’ve learned a grand lesson, oh, let it be clear,
Never trust a pizza, for it brings only fear!
Chords not available
Beat not available
Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a minor key pop ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time, recounting this horrible tale. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and “I said hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit” and “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and “molten cheese” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?" Come up with different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1 (about ordering at Applebee’s as waiter suggested), chorus 1 (about the first bite and pain), verse 2 (about how wonderful and tempting the pizza still looked), chorus 2 (how the pizza hadn’t cooled down and burned again), bridge (about all the things he has eaten), chorus 3 (about how his mouth and tongue are still burned), coda (about the lesson learned never eating it again). Dracula sings with ancient accent and doesn’t know modern English. The last lines should be on how the experience changed him. The rhyme scheme for the verse should be ABAB. The rhyme scheme for the chorus should be AABB.
Sam Smith