Join Dracula in a comedic yet poignant minor key pop ballad where he recounts his daring experience with pizza at a modern Applebee’s. Explore the highs and lows of culinary adventure as he hilariously laments the pain of his first bite. A parody of epic proportions, this song takes a serious turn, revealing deep emotions behind the kitchen mishap. Perfect for fans of Broadway humor and dramatic lyricism!
Verse 1:
In the dim light of an Applebee's glow,
Sipping blood-red wine, feeling all aglow.
Thought I’d conquer the culinary conundrum tonight,
A slice of that pizza, oh, what a fright.
But wait, what’s this? A menu so vast,
A crispy delight, could it be my last?
I laugh at the thought, 'till the moment draws near,
A bite of that cheesy, saucy frontier.
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Made me rethink my life as a creature so sleek-a.
Goddamn the pepperoni, what a cruel fate,
I thought I was safe, but just you wait!
Verse 2:
I said hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit,
But the waiter just winked, gave me a hit.
The sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat,
A torturous blaze that made me choke.
Molten cheese cascaded, oh such a tease,
This culinary journey brought me to my knees.
Once a lord of the night, now feeling the burn,
All from a snack, oh how the tables turn.
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
What a savage return of culinary visa.
Goddamn the pepperoni, it twisted my fate,
With each spicy bite, I teetered on hate!
Bridge:
Once feared and revered, now a prisoner of cheese,
Expelling foul curses, begging for ease.
The laughter of mortals filled the air with glee,
While I wallowed in sorrow, oh, set me free!
This slice of my life, a regret so divine,
Who knew I would falter at the true heart of dine?
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Irony strikes, it’s a wicked tease-a.
Goddamn the pepperoni, it stole my pride,
Like a phantom of taste, it hung by my side.
Coda:
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?
A prince of the shadows brought low by a pie,
In this moment of pain, I learned how to cry.
Chords not available
Beat not available
Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a minor key pop ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits a modern Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time, recounting this horrible tale. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and “I said hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit” and “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and “molten cheese” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?" Come up with different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda. Don’t repeat lines. Don’t reveal till the first chorus that he burned his mouth. The last lines should be super profound on how the experience changed him.
Elton John