A powerful parody ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA, 'I Burned My Mouth on Pizza' captures the hilariously tragic tale of the famed vampire's first experience with modern cuisine at an Applebee's. With a mix of humor and drama, Dracula recounts his ill-fated attempt at enjoying pizza, leading him to unexpected culinary disaster.
Verse 1:
In a corner booth, dim light and a flicker,
I sat down to feast, I was feeling quite slicker.
The menus were glossy, the options were wide,
But what caught my eye, I just couldn't abide.
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
This damned pie just defeats ya!
The crust looked divine, but oh, what a blunder,
That molten cheese brought the pain like thunder!
Verse 2:
I ordered it simple, no garlic for me,
I said hold the garlic – I can’t stand that shit, you see!
But the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat,
Goddamn the pepperoni, it just wouldn't float.
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
This cursed feast sure misleads ya!
My taste buds were screaming, it was a disaster,
Who knew culinary joy could end in such a laughter?
Bridge:
I thought I’d find solace in an Italian delight,
But I ended up scorched, like a bat in the night.
With fire in my belly and tears in my eyes,
That slice of deception was my ultimate demise.
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
This experience really beats ya!
I never suspected such sadness would flow,
Now all I can do is put on quite the show!
Coda:
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?
In this modern world, with its flavors obscene,
I’m just a poor vampire caught in between!
Chords not available
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Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits a modern Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time, recounting this horrible tale. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and “I said hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit” and “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and “molten cheese” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?" Come up with different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda. Don’t repeat lines. Don’t reveal till the first chorus that he burned his mouth.
Elton John