A humorous yet serious ballad from the musical DRACULA, where the famous vampire recounts his disastrous encounter with modern pizza at an Applebee's. A parody power ballad filled with vivid imagery and colorful language, Dracula laments the painful experience that no amount of centuries could prepare him for. You'll laugh and cringe as he dives into his culinary misadventure.
Verse 1:
In an Applebee’s haze, I sat, oh, the sights!
Thought I’d feast like a king, under neon lights.
Ordered me pizza, so cheesy and hot,
But little did I know, it would burn me a lot.
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
It ain't the feast that beats ya,
Goddamn the pepperoni, oh it defeats ya,
In this kitchen of horror, craving for fame.
Verse 2:
I said, 'Hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit',
But the waiter just chuckled, what a comedic wit.
The sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat,
I dared take a bite, what a goddamn joke!
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
It ain't the feast that beats ya,
Goddamn the pepperoni, oh it defeats ya,
From a day in the limelight to culinary shame.
Bridge:
A nightmare of crust, with toppings galore,
A tragic mistake I simply can’t ignore.
Molten cheese, stretching like a cruel tease,
Now I’m cursed by this dish, down on my knees!
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
It ain't the feast that beats ya,
Goddamn the pepperoni, oh it defeats ya,
In this dilemma of taste, I'm the one to blame.
Coda:
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?
So here’s my advice, from the depths of my heart,
Next time, dear mortals, stay the hell from the art!
Chords not available
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Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits a modern Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time, recounting this horrible tale. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and “I said hold the garlic - I can’t stand that shit” and “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and “molten cheese” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?" Come up with different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda. Don’t repeat lines.
Elton John