This comedic power ballad recounts Dracula's harrowing and hilarious experience trying pizza for the first time at a modern Applebee's. With a blend of humor and horror, Dracula shares his culinary misadventure in a totally unexpected way, filled with catchy phrases and clever rhymes that highlight the perils of experimentation in cuisine.
Verse 1:
In a diner bright, with neon lights,
I stumbled in for a late-night bite.
The menu shined, my hunger teased,
But little did I know that fate would be displeased.
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
That molten cheese, it really beats ya!
A slice so hot, it almost defeats ya,
Goddamn the pepperoni, what a frickin' Rita!
Verse 2:
I said hold the garlic, I can’t stand that shit,
But they piled it on, oh, what a hit!
The sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat,
Each bite a disaster, that crust did gloat.
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
My cravings soared, oh how they tease ya,
Searing in slices, how could this please ya?
Goddamn the pepperoni, it's a demon that appeases!
Bridge:
I came from shadows, a lord of the night,
But who knew pizza could give such a fright?
Somebody hand me a glass of ice, please,
For this fiery feast that’s dropped me to my knees.
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
With every bite, it rips and eats ya,
Each tingle a reminder that it defeats ya,
Goddamn the pepperoni, I never thought it’d breach ya!
Coda:
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?
A vampire stranded in tastes so obscene,
I’ll stick to blood, you can keep your cuisine!
Chords not available
Beat not available
Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits a modern Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time, recounting this horrible tale. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and “I said hold the garlic, I can’t stand that shit” and “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and “molten cheese” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?" Come up with different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda. Don’t repeat lines.
Elton John