An uproarious parody power ballad where Dracula experiences the modern culinary world through a disastrous encounter with pizza at an Applebee’s. This comedic musical number explores the hilarity of his obsessions and frustrations, mixing witty lyrics and unexpected vulgarities with a touch of humor about Italian vengeance.
Verse 1:
I said hold the garlic, I can’t stand that shit,
Thought I'd try something new, wouldn't you dare to admit?
But oh, the cheese just melted, and the crust was so fine,
A bite turned into a nightmare, an ordeal so unkind.
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Hotter than hell, it smacked me like a visa.
Goddamn the pepperoni,
This delicious disaster feels like it’s all phony!
Verse 2:
The sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat,
Each chomp was a battle, and I wished I could gloat.
Thought I’d savor the flavor, take a bite of that treat,
Instead, I found myself wishing for a blood-soaked feast.
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Crispy dough beats ya, this meal truly defeats ya.
Goddamn the pepperoni,
Regretting my choices, call me an Italian phony!
Bridge:
I roamed through centuries, a true connoisseur,
But my taste buds were screaming, I’ve never been so sure.
A vampire unyielding, but this was a new thrill,
Yet here I am cursing, is it time for a chill?
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Hotter than hell, and that sauce just beats ya!
Goddamn the pepperoni,
I might need some vengeance, or barbecue mac and crony!
Coda:
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?
A vampire like me, in a culinary bind,
I’ll stick to my blood, it’s the only thing kind!
Chords not available
Beat not available
Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits a modern Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing and a joke about Italians getting revenge. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and in first verse “I said hold the garlic, I can’t stand that shit” and in verse 2 “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?" Come up with hilarious different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda.
Elton John