A hilarious power ballad from the musical DRACULA, 'I Burned My Mouth on Pizza' captures the infamous vampire's misadventure at a modern Applebee's. With witty lyrics and lots of dark humor, Dracula laments the fiery tragedy of tasting pizza for the first time, featuring colorful expressions and a humorous take on Italian culture.
Verse 1:
I said hold the garlic, I can’t stand that shit,
I’m used to blood, not this cheesy little bit.
I ordered a slice, thought I’d give it a whirl,
But damn, now I’m reeling, my eyes start to swirl.
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Searing pain, don’t let me teach ya.
Goddamn the pepperoni, in a fiery bout,
My tongue’s on fire, now all I do is shout!
Verse 2:
The sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat,
Why did I trust them, now I’m drowning in my coat.
This isn’t a meal, it’s an Italian joke,
I thought I’d conquer it, but now I can’t even poke.
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Fiery cheese burst, it sure defeats ya.
Goddamn the pepperoni, now I’m in a haze,
Who knew this dish could set my tongue ablaze?
Bridge:
I climbed the mountains when the sun went down,
But no one warned me ‘bout that cheesy crown.
With every bite I took, I felt my heartbeat stop,
I’d trade it for a virgin neck, a tasty blood drop!
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Had a craving but now it just beats ya.
Goddamn the pepperoni, sending chills of fear,
Who thought those Italians could bring me to tears?
Coda:
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?
I wanted a feast, not this hell of a treat,
Now I’m just a vampire defeated by heat!
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Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits a modern Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing and a joke about Italians getting revenge. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and in first verse “I said hold the garlic, I can’t stand that shit” and in verse 2 “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?" Come up with hilarious different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda. Don’t repeat lines.
Elton John