A comedic power ballad from the musical DRACULA where Dracula faces the unexpected fiery flavor of a modern pizza. As he indulges in this Italian delicacy, he reflects on the pain and humor of his experience, delivering a serious performance laced with vulgarity and irony.
Verse 1:
I walked into Applebee's, thought I'd give it a try,
Saw that cheesy crust and said, 'Oh my, oh my!'
I said hold the garlic, I can’t stand that shit,
Just let me taste that slice, just a little bit.
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
It’s a culinary crime that really defeats ya.
Goddamn the pepperoni, it’s plotting my doom,
Now I’m just a vampire sweating in this crap-filled room.
Verse 2:
The sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat,
With every bite it felt like a demon had gloat,
Next time I’ll stick to blood, it doesn't cause this grief,
Curse you, Italian cuisine, you’re the thief of my relief.
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
This slice of hell is a relentless visa.
Goddamn the pepperoni, it brings to mind,
Those vengeful Italians, they're not so blind.
Bridge:
I thought I could handle anything, just give it a go,
But this cheesy abomination was too much for my flow,
Dracula’s a legend, with thousands of years,
And the taste of this pizza just sends me to tears.
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
It's a tragic farce, that fate would tease ya.
Goddamn the pepperoni, it’s a fiery betrayal,
Now hashtagging my pain on this social media trail.
Coda:
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?
Instead of fanging in shadows, I’m stuck here in fright,
Ooh, my mouth’s on fire, this is the end of my bite!
Chords not available
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Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits a modern Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing and a joke about Italians getting revenge. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and in first verse “I said hold the garlic, I can’t stand that shit” and in verse 2 “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think those Italians would bring me to tears?" Come up with hilarious different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda. Don’t repeat lines.