In this hilarious parody power ballad, Dracula visits a modern Applebee's and takes on pizza for the first time, only to suffer the consequences! With his signature dark humor, Dracula laments his fiery experience with pizza, pepperoni, and the unexpected wrath of the Italians. Filled with vulgar phrases and witty rhymes, this ballad will leave you laughing and singing along!
Verse 1:
I said hold the garlic, I can’t stand that shit,
The sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat,
I took a big bite, thought I’d be feelin’ fine,
But now I'm cursing the heavens, like I’m outta my mind.
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Damn that cheese, it really beats ya,
What was I thinkin’, this mess defeats ya,
Goddamn the pepperoni, you little teaser!
Verse 2:
I tried to be hip, blend in with the crowd,
But that crust turned to rock, oh how it felt so proud,
Thinking I’d enjoy this thrill, but oh, what a joke,
Here I am, a monster, utterly choked.
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Damn that cheese, it really beats ya,
What was I thinkin’, this mess defeats ya,
Goddamn the pepperoni, you little teaser!
Bridge:
I may rise in the night, fearsome and grand,
But tonight it’s that dough that has the upper hand,
Those Italians must’ve planned this cruel fate,
Got me weeping in shame, oh, it’s never too late!
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Damn that cheese, it really beats ya,
What was I thinkin’, this mess defeats ya,
Goddamn the pepperoni, you little teaser!
Coda:
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think the vengeful Italians would bring me to tears?
So heed my warning, and don’t make this blunder,
Beware of the pizza, or you’ll live in this thunder!
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Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits a modern Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing and a joke about Italians getting revenge. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and in first verse “I said hold the garlic, I can’t stand that shit” and “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think the vengeful Italians would bring me to tears?"! Come up with hilarious different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda.
Elton John