A comedic yet serious power ballad from the musical 'Dracula', where Dracula experiences a modern dining adventure at an Applebee's and hilariously laments burning his mouth on his first bite of pizza. The playful lyrics also touch on cultural stereotypes with a tongue-in-cheek approach.
Verse 1:
I walked into Applebee’s, thought I’d give it a go,
I said, 'Hold the garlic, I don’t want to feel low.'
But the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat,
I took a big bite, oh my, how it choked!
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
My centuries-old heart, this dish just defeats ya.
Goddamn the pepperoni, it’s made me a fool,
I guess this Italian revenge is the ultimate rule.
Verse 2:
The crust was a puzzle, too hard to bite,
And the cheese, like a monster, pulled me with might.
I thought it was harmless, just a casual feast,
But every slice mocks me, like a creepy beast!
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Like a fanged vampire trapped in the heat, ya!
Pasta may be good, but this pie is a fight,
In my dark castle, I’ve never known fright!
Bridge:
Oh, dear garlic knots, how I’ve been betrayed,
All my vampire charms, in this sauce, they decayed.
Did the chefs conspire, in their spicy revenge?
A red sauce strategy, it feels like a trend!
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
A slice of the underworld, it surely beats ya!
How could this happen? I’ve lived for centuries, dear,
Now I’m choking on dough, caught up in my fear!
Coda:
After living for hundreds and hundreds of years,
Who’d think the vengeful Italians would bring me to tears?
With garlic and sauce, my pride’s in a spin,
Next time I’ll bring blood, a much safer win!
Chords not available
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Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits a modern Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing and a joke about Italians getting revenge. It should have the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and in first verse “I said hold the garlic” and “the sauce was pure hellfire, like lava in my throat” and in coda “After living for hundreds and hundreds of years, Who’d think the vengeful Italians would bring me to tears?"! Come up with hilarious different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda. Never repeat a joke but make sure the words are conversational.
Barbra Streisand