A hilarious parody power ballad where Dracula tries pizza for the first time at a modern Applebee's, only to have his taste buds singe as he laments the experience. Filled with playful vulgarity and side-splitting humor, this song captures the essence of craving and regret, all wrapped in a theatrical twist.
Verse 1:
I said hold the garlic, just give me that slice!
I thought it would be simple, oh isn’t this nice?
But when I took a bite, oh my fangs didn’t grip,
This cheesy creation made me feel like a dip!
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Why'd I think it wouldn’t eat ya?
Goddamn the pepperoni, it’s a painful tease ya,
I’m a lord of the night, but this food, it defeats ya!
Verse 2:
Took a sip of my drink, thought I’d spare myself shame,
But that hot, molten crust just ruined my game!
Now I'm cursing this feast, oh what a big mess,
Can’t believe a pie brought me to this distress.
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Why’d I think it wouldn’t eat ya?
Goddamn the pepperoni, it’s a painful tease ya,
Turning my dark night into pure misery, bruh!
Bridge:
In the corner booth, there’s a kid with a grin,
Laughing while I lick my wounds; guess I’ll never win!
With all these toppings, who needs a brain-staining curse?
I’d trade my whole domain for a piece without a burst!
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Why’d I think it wouldn’t eat ya?
Goddamn the pepperoni, oh, it haunts me like a beast ya,
A vampire’s regret, amidst this cheesy fiesta!
Coda:
So heed my warning, when in craving and plight,
Check the temperature first, or you might lose your bite!
For I burned my mouth on pizza, with a love that won’t cease,
And now I’ll stick to blood, oh sweet, delicious peace!
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Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits a modern Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have amazing jokes and the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and in first verse “I said hold the garlic”! Come up with hilarious different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda. Never repeat a joke but make sure the words are conversational.
Barbra Streisand