A hilarious parody power ballad where Dracula navigates the modern world of Applebee's and tries pizza for the first time, ultimately leading to fiery frustration. With witty rhymes and comedic vulgarities, this song captures the essence of a misunderstood vampire venturing into the culinary arts.
Verse 1:
I walked into this place, thought I’d take a chance,
Ordered up a slice, didn’t think I'd dance,
I said hold the garlic, keep that shit away,
Just me and my pizza on a Friday.
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Thought it would please ya, but it just defeats ya,
Goddamn the pepperoni, my fangs are feeling hazy,
I swear, the sauce is driving me crazy!
Verse 2:
I took a big bite, felt the heat explode,
Pizza, you devil, now I’m singing my ode,
I’m a creature of the night, but this crust bites back,
Tryna chew on this cheese while I’m dressed in black.
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Thought it would ease ya, but it just mistreats ya,
Goddamn the pepperoni, my taste buds are in war,
Honestly, I don’t think I can take anymore!
Bridge:
Pizza, oh pizza, why must you toast?
You’ve turned my fangs into a whining ghost,
I came for a feast, thought it’d be divine,
Instead, I’m left here, sipping cheap red wine.
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Stuck in this hellhole, what’s that? A breach of,
Goddamn the pepperoni, it’s a fiery affair,
Next time I’ll stick to blood and just eat rare!
Coda:
So here’s my advice, heed this vampire’s law,
When diving into pizza, remember the flaw,
If you like it hot, keep the damn garlic back,
Or risk burning your mouth, feeling like a hack!
Chords not available
Beat not available
Broadway song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits a modern Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have amazing jokes and the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and in first verse “I said hold the garlic”! Come up with hilarious different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda. Never repeat a joke.
Barbra Streisand