A hilarious and satirical power ballad in which Dracula humorously recounts his disastrous encounter with pizza at a modern Applebee's. This ironically serious performance offers a comedic twist on vampiric expectations and the simple agony of burning his mouth. Prepare for riotous laughter and clever wordplay as Dracula navigates the pitfalls of modern dining with a comedic flourish.
Verse 1:
I strolled into Applebee’s, full of glee,
Saw a menu with a pie, thought, 'This is for me!'
I said, "Hold the garlic, I don’t need that shit,"
But who knew my taste buds would soon face the pit?
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
In this joint, it’s a total beast-a!
Goddamn the pepperoni, it defeats ya,
I’m a bloodsucker, but tonight it’s the yeast that eats ya!
Verse 2:
I took a slice, and I felt so alive,
But the cheese it was molten, like a vampire's jive,
I thought I could handle this culinary feat,
But that heat on my tongue? Oh, it can’t be beat!
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
In this joint, it’s a total beast-a!
Goddamn the pepperoni, it defeats ya,
I’m a bloodsucker, but tonight it’s the yeast that eats ya!
Bridge:
In Transylvania, we feast on blood, not dough,
But this damn pepperoni put on quite a show,
I’m used to sharp things, like stakes in the night,
But the only thing staked here is my damn appetite!
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
In this joint, it’s a total beast-a!
Goddamn the pepperoni, it defeats ya,
I’m a bloodsucker, but tonight it’s the yeast that eats ya!
Coda:
So here I sit with my lips all ablaze,
Next time I’ll stick to the dark, blood-soaked ways,
Forget the pizza, the crust and the grease,
I’ll take my torment in silence, let the nightmare cease!
Chords not available
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Broadway comedy song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a funny ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits a modern Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have amazing jokes and the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni” and in first verse “I said hold the garlic”! Come up with hilarious different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda.
Barbra Streisand