Experience the comedic brilliance of Dracula as he humorously recounts his ill-fated adventure at a modern Applebee's, trying pizza for the first time in this parody power ballad. 'I Burned My Mouth on Pizza' is a laugh-out-loud ballad filled with witty humor, vulgarities, and clever rhymes that will keep you entertained.
Verse 1:
In the shadows of the night, with a thirst I can't contain,
I stumble into Applebee's, feelin' hungry, feelin' pain.
I cast aside my cape, 'cause I’m ready for a feast,
But little did I know this glorious night would be my least.
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
This cheesy slice has gotta be a tease-uh.
Goddamn the pepperoni, it sure defeats ya!
Oh, my poor fangs were screaming, ‘Bite me, bleeds ya!’
Verse 2:
I took a slice so eager, like a bat out of hell,
But as I bit into the toppings, oh, can’t you hear me yell?
Hotter than a sunbeam, singeing my undead lips,
I'm swearing like a sailor, can’t believe I took those nips.
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
I melted like a cupcake, oh, it really beats ya.
Goddamn the pepperoni, that crust just eats ya!
In agony I’m howling, give me more, it’s heat ya!
Bridge:
Why’d I think this would be nice? It should be a treat!
But now I’m puffin’ smoke like I’m about to lose my seat.
Blessed be the oven, it’s a fiery betrayal,
Crusty and crispy, and I’m howlin’ in wail.
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
This flaming disaster brings me straight to my knees-uh.
Goddamn the pepperoni, man, did it tease ya?
Now I’m here lamenting, while it crusty beats ya!
Coda:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Next time I’ll stick to blood, it really treats ya.
No more melty toppings, they can’t compete, ya,
I’ll stick to fine red wine instead of that damn pizza!
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Broadway comedy song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a funny ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad sung seriously. He visits a modern Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have amazing jokes and the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni”! Come up with hilarious different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda.
Barbra Streisand