A hilarious parody power ballad performed by Dracula, 'I Burned My Mouth on Pizza' captures the comedic misadventures of a vampire experiencing the delights of a classic American pizza for the first time. With witty jokes and catchy rhymes, this song delivers laughs and unforgettable moments as Dracula laments his fiery culinary mistake.
Verse 1:
I wandered into Applebee’s, with a thirst for something new,
My fangs were sharp, my cape was on, what the hell was I to do?
They’ve got these pies, they call ‘em pizza, and I thought I’d give it a whirl,
But those sizzling cheese and pepperoni made my stomach start to twirl!
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
This deadly crust can’t defeat ya,
It's blistered my precious fangs, oh dear!
Goddamn the pepperoni, I fear!
Verse 2:
Tried to savor every slice, but that cheese was hot as hell,
My tongue was roasted by the sauce, oh, this is quite the tale to tell!
I thought it’d be a tasty treat, just a simple dish, you see,
But that molten cheese was sneaky as a bat in my belfry!
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
This fiery bite is a big tease-ah,
It’s hotter than a flame in hell, can’t you see?
Goddamn the pepperoni, woe is me!
Bridge:
I’m Dracula, eternal night,
But this pie’s brought me fright!
I may haunt the darkest hall,
But pizza had me ready to crawl!
A vampire craving comfort food,
With every bite, my mood’s subdued,
Next time I’ll just stick to blood—
Oh, how I wish I could!
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
What the hell, I’d rather eat a weasel!
It’s cruel heat that leaves me weak—
Oh pizza, I’ll never again seek!
Coda:
So heed my tale, all you mortals,
Pizza burns through all the portals,
With garlic knots and sweet sangria,
All hail the horrors of hot pizza!
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Chords not available
Beat not available
Broadway comedy song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a funny ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad. He visits an Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time. The lyrics should have lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have amazing jokes and the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni”! Come up with hilarious different perfect rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya” and “defeats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda.
Barbra Streisand