A hilarious power ballad performed by Dracula in the musical DRACULA, 'I Burned My Mouth on Pizza' captures the comedic disaster of a vampire's first encounter with pizza. With outrageous lyrics and shocking humor, Dracula shares his fiery experience at Applebee's, delivering punchlines that'll leave you laughing while questioning your culinary choices!
Verse 1:
In the dim light of Applebee's, oh what a sight,
I saw that cheesy slice, it seemed so right.
Thought I'd try something new, couldn’t resist the tease,
But the heat from that pizza brought me down to my knees!
Chorus 1:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Goddamn the pepperoni, it’s a tongue torpedo!
Tried to bite it like a fool, thought I’d be a heat seeker,
But now I’m just a vampire with a scorched lingua feature!
Verse 2:
I should’ve known better than that molten breath,
Hotter than the flames of a sinner's death!
With crust so crispy, and toppings galore,
End up with a blister? Who knew it’d be war?
Chorus 2:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
The sauce spilled over, like a crimson sea, ya!
Why did I try to feast on this doughy diva?
Now I’m just a Dracula with a tortured diva!
Bridge:
I came to the light, thought I’d take a bite,
But dear sweet garlic, it turned out to be a plight!
With doughy regrets and this mouth like a furnace,
I’m cursing that cheese, what a torturous circus!
Chorus 3:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
It’s a culinary crime, gotta call a subpoena!
Next time I’ll stick to blood, it’s my one true visa,
Instead of this disaster, I swear, I’ll leave ya!
Coda:
So here’s a warning for all you fine eaters,
Don’t mess with the heat, or you'll feel like a cheater!
Next time you’re craving, think of me as a teaser,
Just skip the damn pizza, or it’ll surely seize ya!
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Broadway comedy song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a funny ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad. He visits an Applebee’s and decides to try pizza for the first time. The lyrics should be shocking and offensive with lots of vulgar phrases and swearing. It should have amazing jokes and the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” and “goddamn the pepperoni”! Come up with hilarious different rhymes every time for “pizza” like “beats ya”. The song structure should be: verse 1, chorus 1, verse 2, chorus 2, bridge, chorus 3, coda.
Barbra Streisand