A humorous and satirical power ballad performed by Dracula in an Applebee's setting, 'I Burned My Mouth on Pizza' offers a comical reflection on unexpected pain and culinary mishaps while blending gothic themes with laugh-out-loud moments.
Verse 1:
In an Applebee’s booth, feeling fancy and fine,
I ordered a feast, with a drink as divine.
But when that hot pizza came, oh what a sight,
Little did I know, it’d lead to my plight.
Chorus:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
This is not just any heaping slice; it’s a feisty diva!
With crust so hot, like the sun’s own glare,
I thought I’d conquer it all, but now I despair!
Verse 2:
Toppings galore, pepperoni and cheese,
I took a big bite, oh, I couldn’t believe!
My fangs met the sauce, and oh what a sting,
Now I’m but a vampire, who can’t taste a thing.
Chorus:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Cursing the heavens, and the chef who’s a tease, uh!
I could’ve feasted on blood, oh that’s my jam,
Instead, here I am, a mouth in a slam!
Bridge:
I rise from the grave, but now I am fried,
What's a vampire to do when taste buds have died?
I’d gnaw on a neck, sippin’ red silky wine,
But here in this booth, I’m a pizza-fried swine!
Chorus:
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!
Damn these hot slices, I’m livid, I’m furious!
What’s worse than a bite of blood-sucking woe?
A slice of disgrace, oh where’d my dignity go?!
Outro:
So heed my warning, all you who adore,
Beware of the pizza that’s hotter than lore,
For Dracula wants blood, not a greasy surprise,
So I’ll leave you with this—never pizza-cise!
Ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza! (x3)
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Musical theatre Broadway comedy song called “I Burned My Mouth on Pizza" - a ballad sung by Dracula in the musical DRACULA. The song is a parody power ballad he does in Applebee’s. The lyrics should be shocking and offensive with lots of vulgar phrases and expletives. It should have amazing jokes and the lines “ooh, I burned my mouth on pizza!” Funny.
Barbra Streisand