"An Apple a Day" is a hilarious and cheeky Broadway-style comedy song from the irreverent musical "NOT ANOTHER HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL", performed by Martha Stewart. Packed with sharp humor and outrageous anecdotes, the song serves as a comedic take on taking control of one’s destiny, albeit with plenty of sass and R-rated shenanigans. It's a riotous celebration of defiance, illustrating how Martha fearlessly stands up to challenges, all while dishing out zingers that pack a punch. Prepare for a side-splitting performance full of situational irony, shocking anecdotes, and game-changing life lessons that leave audiences in stitches!
(Intro)
When life throws you lemons,
Just sue the whole damn tree,
Toss 'em out the window,
And grab a cup of tea!
(Chorus 1)
An apple a day, oh what a cliché,
But I’d rather sue the doctor,
And send him on his way!
With contracts I’m breaking,
And staff I’ll berate,
Trust me, an apple won’t keep my anger at bay!
(Verse 1)
I walked into a store,
With coupons in my hand,
But the cashier just sneered,
Told me I was banned!
So I filed a lawsuit,
For emotional pain,
Now every grocery’s calling,
My reputation’s gained!
(Chorus 2)
An apple a day, it’s a fruit with no bite,
I’d rather host a dinner,
Where I’ll roast you at night!
The way I serve karma,
You’ll never see it coming,
Just like the time I told my chef,
“Let’s turn up the humming!”
(Bridge)
Oh, honey, they don’t know,
That I’m the queen of the game,
With my power suits and contracts,
I’m bringing all the flame!
I know how to handle,
The men in my life,
With a silver spoon of warfare,
And a gun in my wife!
(Verse 2)
So I wrote a best-seller,
The secrets of my way,
But they didn’t buy it,
I guess that’s their belay!
So I took making scones,
To a level of chaos,
I’ll bake you a pie,
And then give you the loss!
(Instrumental Break)
(Verse 3)
Watch me whip up a scandal,
While pulling the fun!
I don’t need a green thumb,
To show how it’s done!
With my spatula of justice,
I’ll conquer the meal,
Just remember that this apple,
Won’t help you feel real!
(Chorus 3)
An apple a day? Oh, honey, please stay,
While I grapple with nonsense,
And post it on display!
With a laugh and a legal,
I’m making my way,
Not just one apple,
But the whole damn buffet!
(Coda)
So take charge of your fortune,
And never dismay,
Just know that an apple,
WON’T keep the doctor away!
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Musical theatre Broadway comedy song called “An Apple a Day” (WON’T Keep the Doctor Away) - a fun attitude song in the style of Mary Poppins “Spoonful of Sugar", sung by Martha Stewart in a hilarious R-Rated comedy called NOT ANOTHER HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL. The song is an allegory for being proactive and taking charge via examples in Martha’s life where she took charge by suing companies, breaking contracts, and berating her staff. The lyrics should be shocking and offensive and racist with lots of vulgar phrases and expletives. It is not about real apples. It has lots of internal perfect rhymes and the following song structure: Intro verse, chorus 1, verse 1, chorus 2, bridge, verse 2, instrumental break, verse 3, chorus 3, coda. It should have a dozen amazing jokes.