An Apple a Day (WON’T Keep the Doctor Away)
Martha Stewart

Intro:
(Spoken)
Well, darling, gather 'round, let me tell you a tale,
Of fruit and power, success, and sometimes failure.

Chorus 1:
An apple a day, they say, will keep the doc away,
But honey, I say, it’s a lawsuit that’ll save the day!
With malice and sass, I’ll give you my best,
I’ll sue that rotten firm and make 'em all confess!

Verse 1:
So there I was, livin’ my high-style life,
Takin’ charge and givin’ the haters some strife,
When I saw that ad for organic faux pas,
A false claim—Can you believe that? A total char!

Chorus 2:
An apple a day, they say, will keep the doc away,
But honey, I say, it’s a cease-and-desist that’ll save the day!
With every kitchen tip, I’m makin’ my way,
You can slice these apples, but you just can’t take my sway!

Bridge:
Oh, I’m no delicate flower, just a force of nature,
With every sharp remark, I’m the rude curator.
Let’s have some fun, oh, let’s raise some hell,
Behind my perfect image, I can really yell!

Verse 2:
Telling staff what to do, with a spatula in hand,
Regulating the chaos, enforcing my brand,
I told Jimmy he’s fired for not making it right,
Now he’s out—like a soufflé that took flight!

(Instrumental Break)

Verse 3:
And when the tabloids start spreadin’ the shade,
I’ll spill all the tea, darling, don’t be afraid!
In a world of fake apples of silly charades,
I’ll carve my own path through this grand charade!

Chorus 3:
An apple a day, they say, will keep the doc away,
But I’m livin’ my truth, so step off, okay?
With my apron on tight, I’m ready to play,
Sippin’ tea and takin’ charge in my own outrageous way!

Coda:
(Spoken)
So here’s my advice, sweeties, don’t walk on by,
When life gives you lemons, oh darling, don’t cry!
Just grab those apples and take a big bite—
And remember, my dears, I’m always right!