An Apple a Day
Martha Stewart

Verse 1:
When life gives you lemons, give a big fat screw,
I’ll serve them on a platter, with a hint of my glue.
I’m a whirlwind of justice, with baking skills to please,
Suing companies left and right, oh honey, do as I please.

Chorus:
An apple a day, keeps the bullshit away,
I’m Martha, hear me roar, in my own special way.
With a spatula in hand, I’ll take ‘em to court,
I’m not afraid to yell, I won’t be cut short!

Verse 2:
“Oh Martha, calm down!” they’ll plead with their sighs,
But I’ll throw a cupcake if you don’t see my prize!
Staff in the kitchen who keeps screwing up!
I’ll give them the look, and then fill up their cup!

Chorus:
An apple a day, keeps the bullshit away,
I’m Martha, hear me roar, in my own special way.
With a spatula in hand, I’ll take ‘em to court,
I’m not afraid to yell, I won’t be cut short!

Bridge:
So heed my advice, don’t let them all slide,
You’ve got the power, let your damn self decide!
Don’t wait for a fairy, just put on your crown,
Sued a company last week, now I wear the gown!

Verse 3:
In my garden of chaos, there’s a place for my seeds,
Watch me make my life rosy, let’s ignore all the weeds.
And if you don’t like it, then take a damn walk,
I’m the head of this table, won’t wait for the clock!

Chorus:
An apple a day, keeps the bullshit away,
I’m Martha, hear me roar, in my own special way.
With a spatula in hand, I’ll take ‘em to court,
I’m not afraid to yell, I won’t be cut short!

Outro:
So what’s with this nonsense, this all needs to change,
Being called a control freak? Honey, I’ll rearrange.
With an apple a day, baby, that’s how I slay,
In this wild, mad world, it’s my own Broadway play!