This powerful song delves into the struggles of identity and mental health stemming from parental expectations and abuse. It explores themes of dissociation and the painful journey of adulthood, highlighting the impact of a stifled upbringing on one’s ability to find themselves.
Verse 1:
Lurking in the shadows of your dreams
Reality twisted like a scene
I wore a mask, nothing's ever as it seems.
Chasing echoes of your broken pride and sewed up seams.
But inside I'm just a ghost, that can never hide for their life or get to be free.
Chorus:
But Who am I? Who am I? I can't remember,
A child lost in your ember.
You built me up, just to tear me down,
Now I'm nothing, I can't be found.
Look at you standing up so proud,
Why am I the one to cower while you get to be the tower,
Smiling down at me looking like a damn clown.
Verse 2:
Every whisper, every scream,
Chained to your twisted dream.
Your expectations like a weight,
But your words will never mitigate.
In your love, I suffocate,
Losing all my air till I faint, This will be my losing fate.
Chorus:
But Who am I? Who am I? I can't remember,
A child lost in your ember.
You built me up, just to tear me down,
Now I'm nothing, I can't be found.
Look at you standing up so proud.
Why am I the one to cower while you get to be the tower,
Smiling down at me looking like a damn clown.
Bridge:
Derealized, I float away,
In shadows where I tend to stay.
Dissociation's sweet and cold embrace,
A fragile mind in a broken state,
Always begging to be replaced.
Verse 3:
Adulting feels like a cruel game,
While I still bear your name.
Dependency, my only friend,
Wishing for this pain to end.
Chorus:
But Who am I? Who am I? I can't remember,
A child lost in your ember.
You built me up, just to tear me down,
Now I'm nothing, I can't be found.
Look at you standing up so proud.
Why am I the one to cower while you get to be the tower,
Smiling down at me looking like a damn clown.
Outro:
But lost in the darkness, I search for a light,
To find the strength to stand and fight.
I'll carve my path, reclaim my own.
No longer defined by your made-up role to control.
In your chosen end, your fate freed my soul,
It'll be the one thing you'll never ever get to see unfold.
If only things were different you'd get the chance to see me grow as you become old.
Now I guess those days will never be foretold.
Chords not available
Beat not available
Its about never being able to know who you are because your parent forced you to be their ideal child, but all it ever did was turn into abuse from them and in the long road ruined your already fucked mental health and gave you ptsd to the point you derealize and dissociate all the time and struggle with adulting and growing up and being able to be your own person and can only depend on others
Tawnted