Story Time Roast: Matthew Edition
Eminem

(Intro)
Yo, let me tell you 'bout my boy, Matthew,
Life of the party, but we all know the truth,
Got stories for days, man, you wouldn't believe,
But today it's a roast, so just sit back and breathe.

(Verse 1)
Matthew's the type to brag 'bout his game,
But every time he plays, it's always the same,
Shooting bricks like he’s building a house,
Claims he's the king, but he’s barely a mouse.

Got a haircut that’s straight outta a fail,
Lookin’ like he lost a fight with a gale,
We laugh and we joke, it’s all in good fun,
But when he hits the dance floor, you know it’s all done.

(Chorus)
Hey Matthew, oh Matthew, what’s that dance move?
You call it the wave, but it’s more like the snooze,
We love you, bro, but it’s time to get real,
Step it up, my dude, it’s part of the deal.

(Verse 2)
Always rolling late, think he’s got a flair,
Arrives with a story ’bout the traffic out there,
But we all know the truth, you just hit that snooze,
Caught up in your dreams, man, it’s time to choose.

Talkin’ ‘bout girls, like he’s Casanova,
But when they see him, man, they just want to nova,
He’s got that charm, or maybe it’s just stress,
When you see him on a date, you can only guess.

(Chorus)
Hey Matthew, oh Matthew, what’s that cologne?
It’s a mix of old spice and something unknown,
We love you, bro, but you gotta step clear,
Cuz that scent right there is bringin’ back fear.

(Bridge)
So here’s to you, Matt, this roast ain’t a crime,
Just a reminder, bro, you’re one of a kind,
We laugh and we tease, through thick and thin,
In this friendship game, I’m always gonna win.

(Outro)
So raise a glass high for my homie, it’s true,
From the wild memories to the ones we’ll do,
Matthew, you’re fire, just need some more flair,
But in this game of life, I’m glad you’re right there.