Get ready for a humorous and entertaining rap about the wild adventures of a hiking crew called Mr. Saito & the Scombros on their epic Tour Du Mont Blanc trip. Follow Danny, Bill, Eri, Kyle, Travis, and Bill on a journey filled with comical mishaps, unforgettable memories, and their love for mackerel as they traverse the stunning Mont Blanc Massif.
Yo, gather 'round, let me tell you 'bout a trip,
Tour Du Mont Blanc, packin’ good food and a grip.
Danny T got the crew, he’s the man with the plan,
Bills A and B, Travis, Kyle, and Eri, makin’ a stand.
June 28, flew out from Chitown,
Copenhagen layover, yeah we cruisin’ down.
June 29, Chamonix was the scene,
Team assembly, ready to be seen.
June 30, start the hike, Refuge Du Plan,
Steep trails, snow crossings, yeah, we made it, man.
Up in the air, feelin’ light as a feather,
But wait, Eri slid sideways, it was tough—what a tether!
Don’t slip like her, she caught on a rock,
If that ice river grabbed her, yo, she’d be in shock.
Bill A singin’ "Ram Ranch" on repeat,
Legendarily fast hiker, man, beatin’ the heat.
Chillin’ on the way to La Balme,
Old folks passin’ us, actin’ like it’s a calm.
"Yo, ladies, wait up! What’s goin’ on?"
They cruisin’ past us all day long, it’s a con!
June 7 chillin’ at Camping Les Rocailles,
With a swim at Lac Champeiux, got all the styles.
Travis on his late game, almost missed that flight,
Climbed his way to win the day, reachin’ new heights.
Food was sketchy, bread and cheese for days,
Fightin’ off starvation with some meat sticks to blaze.
"Scombros" in the pack, we were livin’ the dream,
Can’t forget, playin’ wood chips—who knew we’d scream?
Eri, our Mr. Saito, kept it low-key,
Petting all the cats like she’s brushin’ up on glee.
Kyle droppin’ gems like, "A two’s good for me,"
Like mashed potatoes? Man, that’s a sight to see.
Bill B talkin’ mate selection, grassroots vibes,
Claimin’ old ladies passin’ us gets in his jibes.
Stuck on the sideline, jobless and bored,
Waitin’ for that bank gig, he’ll go in with a sword.
Last day cod liver, smelly situation,
Bill A can’t escape that ol' fish sensation.
Ladders were Danny’s kryptonite, fell like a champ,
In Refuge, flailing like he’s caught in a lamp.
So they all gather 'round for one final blow,
Chillin’ in Chamonix, ready for the show.
A week of wild stories, man, there’s more to tell,
Mr. Saito & the Scombros, nah, we did it well!
As we head back to Chicago, the memories peak,
Team ain’t the same, but we’ll always speak.
Mont Blanc adventures, we conquered the route,
Laughed, cried, and hiked, man, that’s what it’s about!
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Write a rap song about the hiking trip described below. The name of the song should be Mr. Saito & the Scombros. Use humorous details to make the lyrics more entertaining.
Trip Summary:
The Tour Du Mont Blanc (TMB) trip, taking place from June 28 to July 14, 2024, was a meticulously planned backpacking journey around the Mont Blanc Massif, covering approximately 110 miles with over 30,000 feet of elevation gain. Organized by Danny Toporek, the crew consisted of Bill Anderson, Travis Bee, Bill Boswell, Kyle Hubner, Eri Saito, and Danny himself. The trip included a mix of camping, staying at refuges, and hotels, with two full rest days in Courmayeur and Chamonix.
Daily Breakdown:
• June 28: Departure from Chicago to Chamonix with a layover in Copenhagen.
• June 29: Arrival in Chamonix; initial team assembly.
• June 30: Start of the hike from Chamonix to Refuge Du Plan Glacier, involving a steep ascent through forests and snow crossings.
• July 1: Hike from Refuge Du Plan Glacier to Refuge De La Balme, with challenging snow crossings and steep descents.
• July 2: Ascent to Col Du Bonhomme, encountering fog and snow fields, followed by a descent to Les Chapieux.
• July 3: Trek from Les Chapieux to Refuge De Mottets and onward to Col de la Seigne, entering Italy and ending at Rifugio Elisabetta.
• July 4: Hike to Courmayeur, enjoying stunning valley views and resting at the hotel.
• July 5: Exploration of Punta Helbronner via cable car and a variant hike by Danny.
• July 6: Logistic challenges due to landslides; eventual taxi ride to La Fouly, followed by a playful evening at a campground.
• July 7: Hike to Camping Les Rocailles, including swimming at Lac Champeiux.
• July 8: Hike to Le Peuty with stops at cafes and traversing cow fields.
• July 9: Ascent to Col De La Balme, then descending to Gîte de Moulin.
• July 10: Challenging hike to Lac Blanc, involving steep trails and ladders.
• July 11: Descent to La Flégère, parting with Bill Boswell, and continuing to Le Brévent.
• July 12: Final hike to Les Houches, marked by a severe storm and an eventual bus ride back to Chamonix.
• July 13: Relaxation and sightseeing in Chamonix, including a visit to Aiguille du Midi.
• July 14: Departure from Chamonix and return to Chicago.
Notable Experiences:
• The trip was a blend of rigorous hiking, scenic views, and camaraderie among diverse team members.
• They encountered various challenges, including difficult terrain, weather conditions, and logistical issues, but successfully navigated these with teamwork.
• The experience was enriched by cultural interactions, local cuisine, and the natural beauty of the Mont Blanc region.
Fun details:
- Hubert, who ran Refuge de Plan Glacier was a really cool guy who spends 4 months a year secluded in his mountain cabin.
- In the ice crossing incident that is described on July 1st, Eri slid toward a drop off into a fast moving river of icy water. If she hadn't stopped on the rock she would have been seriously hurt.
- The wood chips game was a highlight of the trip. We had a lot of fun making fools of ourselves climbing around on playgrounds like children.
- The snowball fight and racing down the snow slope at Lac Blanc was one of the most entertaining parts of the trip
- The food wasn't great for most of the trip. There was way too much bread and cheese and not enough meat at the refuges. We staved off malnutrition with food like meat sticks and scombro (mackeral) from grocery stores.
- We kept getting passed by old people on the trail. In particular, there were three women in their 60's who passed us like three days in a row.
- We ran into the same couple (English man and his Swiss wife) about half a dozen times over the course of the trip. During the first interaction he randomly told us that his wife was on her period.
Funny things about each person on the trip:
- Danny stopped us about 50 times a day to take photographs and videos. There was a running joke that we is actually a robot because he spread he slept and ate very little on the trip compared to the rest of use, despite carrying the heaviest pack. He also wore the same clothes for like 5 days in a row and spread butter over bread with his thumb instead of a using a knife. Ladders are his kryptonite. In Refuge de Plan Glacier he tried to get down from the upper bunk and flailed around like he was caught in trap. It was hilarious.
- Bill A. knows the lyrics to an absurd, homosexual, country song called "Ram Ranch" by heart and sang them a lot during the trip. He had a terrible experience eating cod liver on the last day of the trip and couldn't escape the smell for the rest of the day. His nickname was ECB, for "Ethnic Cleansing Bill". He has legendary calves that made him a faster hiker than the rest of us.
- Kyle was known for making a fool of himself for saying crazy things as if they were normal. He said his minimum standard of attractiveness for women was a 2 out of 10. Apparently, he once slept with a woman who looked like mashed potatoes.
- Travis started off strong, by being so late to the airport that he almost missed the flight out of Chicago. Throughout the trip, he compensated for his short stature by climbing on everything from ropes to buildings. During the snowball fight at Lac Blanc, he put Kyle in a headlock and they slid down the mountain side.
- Bill B. talked a lot about his preferences in women on the trip. He joked that he was a proponent of grass-roots ethnic cleansing because he said that's what mate selection actually is. His nickname was CHFB, for "Coke head faggot Bill". He was especially annoyed when the old ladies kept passing us. He was about start a lucrative investment banking job, but had been unemployed for the last year while he traveled around the world.
- Eri talked the least on the trip and was frequently annoyed by the "frat bro conversations". She definitely had intrusive thoughts about murdering the rest of us. Her nickname was "Mr. Saito" because everyone who read her name thought she would be a man. She stopped to pets every cat she saw, which is fitting because she gives off black cat vibes.
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