Join Drake on a humorous rap journey through the memorable hiking trip around Mont Blanc with the eclectic crew of Mr. Saito & the Scombros. Featuring unforgettable moments, witty anecdotes, and a glimpse into the ridiculous challenges they faced, this rap highlights camaraderie, adventure, and the absurdities of the outdoors. Laugh along with tales of slipping on ice, strange food choices, and eccentric companions.
Yo, check it,
We're hiking 'round Mont Blanc, that's our jam,
June to July, yeah, we're going ham.
Danny with the camera, like a robot on a spree,
Fifty pics a day, man, what's the deal, G?
Meet the crew, we got Bill A and that calf game tight,
Singing 'Ram Ranch' every day and night,
Cod liver smell lingering, he can’t catch a break,
Laughed so hard, we coulda done a double take.
Travis late to the flight, almost missed the scene,
Climbing on rocks, like a wild mountain machine,
Headlock with Kyle, who’s got a thing for mashed spuds,
Funny how these moments turn to hiking brotherhood floods.
Eri Saito, Ms. Quiet with a stealthy glare,
Petting every cat, like she’s in a feline lair,
But watch out, bro, she’s plotting in her head,
With those black cat vibes, man, better tread.
Bill B. with the Dutch chicks, he’s ready to invest,
But can’t get past old ladies, they’re simply the best,
“Grass roots ethnic cleansing” on a non-linear scale,
While we huff and puff up the Mont Blanc trail.
Landslide issues, we taxi through the mess,
Playground games like kids, man, we’re all so blessed,
Snowball fights, sliding down the slopes we rage,
While eating scombro, like we’re on a food gauge.
Now let’s talk about those meals, cheese and bread galore,
Wishing for some meat, like we’re begging for more,
But the real cuisine was laughter all around,
Making fools of ourselves, yeah, we wear the crown.
And Danny, dude, your outfit’s been the same,
Five days in a row, man, it’s kind of a shame,
Butter by the thumb, ladders made you flop,
But memories made here, man, we’ll never stop.
So here’s to the crew, TMB magic and fun,
Through fog and snow, we all got it done,
With every step forward, and every laugh shared,
Mr. Saito & the Scombros, yeah, we’ve no care.
Yeah, we hiked that trail, with a smile on our face,
From Chicago to Chamonix, it’s an epic race,
This rap's for the memories, the ups and the downs,
Mr. Saito & the Scombros, we wear the crowns.
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Write a rap song about the hiking trip described below. The name of the song should be Mr. Saito & the Scombros. Use humorous details to make the lyrics more entertaining.
Trip Summary:
The Tour Du Mont Blanc (TMB) trip, taking place from June 28 to July 14, 2024, was a meticulously planned backpacking journey around the Mont Blanc Massif, covering approximately 110 miles with over 30,000 feet of elevation gain. Organized by Danny Toporek, the crew consisted of Bill Anderson, Travis Bee, Bill Boswell, Kyle Hubner, Eri Saito, and Danny himself. The trip included a mix of camping, staying at refuges, and hotels, with two full rest days in Courmayeur and Chamonix.
Daily Breakdown:
• June 28: Departure from Chicago to Chamonix with a layover in Copenhagen.
• June 29: Arrival in Chamonix; initial team assembly.
• June 30: Start of the hike from Chamonix to Refuge Du Plan Glacier, involving a steep ascent through forests and snow crossings.
• July 1: Hike from Refuge Du Plan Glacier to Refuge De La Balme, with challenging snow crossings and steep descents.
• July 2: Ascent to Col Du Bonhomme, encountering fog and snow fields, followed by a descent to Les Chapieux.
• July 3: Trek from Les Chapieux to Refuge De Mottets and onward to Col de la Seigne, entering Italy and ending at Rifugio Elisabetta.
• July 4: Hike to Courmayeur, enjoying stunning valley views and resting at the hotel.
• July 5: Exploration of Punta Helbronner via cable car and a variant hike by Danny.
• July 6: Logistic challenges due to landslides; eventual taxi ride to La Fouly, followed by a playful evening at a campground.
• July 7: Hike to Camping Les Rocailles, including swimming at Lac Champeiux.
• July 8: Hike to Le Peuty with stops at cafes and traversing cow fields.
• July 9: Ascent to Col De La Balme, then descending to Gîte de Moulin.
• July 10: Challenging hike to Lac Blanc, involving steep trails and ladders.
• July 11: Descent to La Flégère, parting with Bill Boswell, and continuing to Le Brévent.
• July 12: Final hike to Les Houches, marked by a severe storm and an eventual bus ride back to Chamonix.
• July 13: Relaxation and sightseeing in Chamonix, including a visit to Aiguille du Midi.
• July 14: Departure from Chamonix and return to Chicago.
Notable Experiences:
• The trip was a blend of rigorous hiking, scenic views, and camaraderie among diverse team members.
• They encountered various challenges, including difficult terrain, weather conditions, and logistical issues, but successfully navigated these with teamwork.
• The experience was enriched by cultural interactions, local cuisine, and the natural beauty of the Mont Blanc region.
Fun details:
- Hubert, who ran Refuge de Plan Glacier was a really cool guy who spends 4 months a year secluded in his mountain cabin.
- In the ice crossing incident that is described on July 1st, Eri slid toward a drop off into a fast moving river of icy water. If she hadn't stopped on the rock she would have been seriously hurt.
- The wood chips game was a highlight of the trip. We had a lot of fun making fools of ourselves climbing around on playgrounds like children.
- The snowball fight and racing down the snow slope at Lac Blanc was one of the most entertaining parts of the trip
- The food wasn't great for most of the trip. There was way too much bread and cheese and not enough meat at the refuges. We staved off malnutrition with food like meat sticks and scombro (mackeral) from grocery stores.
- We kept getting passed by old people on the trail. In particular, there were three women in their 60's who passed us like three days in a row.
- We ran into the same couple (English man and his Swiss wife) about half a dozen times over the course of the trip. During the first interaction he randomly told us that his wife was on her period.
Funny things about each person on the trip:
- Danny stopped us about 50 times a day to take photographs and videos. There was a running joke that we is actually a robot because he spread he slept and ate very little on the trip compared to the rest of use, despite carrying the heaviest pack. He also wore the same clothes for like 5 days in a row and spread butter over bread with his thumb instead of a using a knife. Ladders are his kryptonite. In Refuge de Plan Glacier he tried to get down from the upper bunk and flailed around like he was caught in trap. It was hilarious.
- Bill A. knows the lyrics to an absurd, homosexual, country song called "Ram Ranch" by heart and sang them a lot during the trip. He had a terrible experience eating cod liver on the last day of the trip and couldn't escape the smell for the rest of the day. His nickname was ECB, for "Ethnic Cleansing Bill". He has legendary calves that made him a faster hiker than the rest of us.
- Kyle was known for making a fool of himself for saying crazy things as if they were normal. He said his minimum standard of attractiveness for women was a 2 out of 10. Apparently, he once slept with a woman who looked like mashed potatoes.
- Travis started off strong, by being so late to the airport that he almost missed the flight out of Chicago. Throughout the trip, he compensated for his short stature by climbing on everything from ropes to buildings. During the snowball fight at Lac Blanc, he put Kyle in a headlock and they slid down the mountain side.
- Bill B. talked a lot about his preferences in women on the trip. He has a non-linear rating scale for attractiveness and is really into Dutch chicks. He joked that he was a proponent of grass-roots ethnic cleansing because he said that's what mate selection actually is. His nickname was CHFB, for "Coke head faggot Bill". He was especially annoyed when the old ladies kept passing us. He was about start a lucrative investment banking job, but had been unemployed for the last year while he traveled around the world.
- Eri talked the least on the trip and was frequently annoyed by the "frat bro conversations". She definitely had intrusive thoughts about murdering the rest of us. Her nickname was "Mr. Saito" because everyone who read her name thought she would be a man. She stopped to pets every cat she saw, which is fitting because she gives off black cat vibes.
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